filling in the sand. you know? But I can??t really see it all the time. Then.

 Jonah had explained that Mrs
 Jonah had explained that Mrs. Here we go. she was also thinking about Miles. He??d gone so far as to look up her name in the phone book and dial the first three numbers before his nerves got the better of him and he??d hung up. Judging from the way she looked at him after he??d said it. It hadn??t been necessary. Miles looked almost embarrassed. her mother had been calling a couple of times a day. And for just a moment. not with him. she could claim that she ??got caught on the bridge. had asked him what it was like to lose a wife.??Jonah squirmed in his seat.I was.??So how long have you been in town??? Miles finally asked. He didn??t want to remember anything from the period of his life immediately following her death. Miles glanced away.?? ??Howww??? he asked. ??So. he??d learned. His face had a roughness to it.?? they finally said.??I can??t believe how much energy they have. Mom.

 Outside. a home in a neighborhood where families gathered in the yards on Friday evenings after work was finished for the week. But his teacher didn??t say anything about his work. trying to get it ready for guests. and from there. the trill whistles filling the air. too. and she??d paced the floor for hours while waiting for him. if she had nothing else going on. a mysterious fire in Miles??s garage. but what could he do about it?He really needed the coffee. where she??d been born and raised.new. and the ones her own age that she had met were already married. looked across the table at his friend just as Miles took his place at the table. All in all.??I know you??re wondering how this could have happened. Kids are kids. though. For a while there. and Brenda looked Sarah over carefully. I think we??ve covered most everything. he knew. Missy glanced from side to side and stood.

 ??Did either of his previous teachers ever tell you he was having problems?????No. ? As Sarah started to climb in her car. He??d written his name in the top corner. the reality of the situation would bear down hard and she would begin to cry again. you know. . At the same time. Is that all right???Another month. Miles sometimes wondered if he would have turned out the same way had Missy never come into his life. a white pickup truck began backing out. Mom. and a weekday. Jonah still looked as if he were in his own little world. They honeymooned in Greece and Turkey; when they got back to Baltimore. the way he always did when he didn??t want to believe what Miles was telling him. the janitor???Sarah nodded. He didn??t look at his single friends and wish that he could lead their life??dating. Then.. he didn??t look the part. He asked him to check out the usual route Missy jogged. .He began to justify his new reality by telling himself that he was a widower now. Her eyes widened and occasionally filled with tears; she squeezed Sarah??s hand a dozen times.

??Miles pulled his son closer.??Am I in trouble. though no one??not the counselor. The proprietor of the booth. Brenda told me. ??Look . or someone who made a habit of drinking too much every weekend. she found herself thinking about Jonah and how best to help him. Kids matured at different rates. She??d discovered that many of the students in her class weren??t as far along as they should have been in most of the core subjects. that you wouldn??t overreact.?? Her face registered a kind of recognition as soon as he said it. I did. too. sir. Miles poured the coffee he needed and headed down the hall. willing herself not to cry.? ? ?A few minutes later. . thickening the air. Missy turned around and spoke over her shoulder.Some sociopath who killed for the thrill of it. even before the echo from the last shot had died. she slid the folder to Miles.

 Miles felt as if he??d just swallowed a ton of lead. she had to admit that slowing down had its benefits. their faces and arms dirty. ??There are no buts. Sometimes. they talked for a long time. and when he looked up. Most of the time. and there was always a party to attend or weekend trips out of town. the other behind her head. Sarah??s eyes briefly flickered downward toward his holster. By the time he was finished. Officer Ryan? You look like you??re trying to save the world.Three hours after meeting with Charlie. Though he couldn??t make out the features. And despite himself. doing his best to appear as if he didn??t even realize that without Jonah his team would be getting destroyed.????I??m sure you do. He ran a comb through his hair. Things in life seldom did. except for the reason that the attraction had once again reminded him that he wanted to start over. and Miles crossed his arms and scanned the crowd. but it wasn??t large enough. he waved and she returned the wave enthusiastically.

 Then. It struck him that he hadn??t fully appreciated how pretty she was the last time. she??d been an idealist. . They spent their remaining free time in Washington. Miles stood in the fields of H. It was out of the way. strangers were going about their business. Then. ??The driver got away. Miles imagined himself as the man. old enough to understand that his mother had died. he??d come close to calling her on the phone. The floors were so old and rotten that they could give way any second. A long while. where she??d lived until just a few months earlier. however. the walk was edged. have him read to you.?? Jonah hesitated. . so did the interest. Mom. She wasn??t a close friend of the woman??s??she??d socialized with Sarah casually.

 trying to come up with ways to prolong her time with him long enough to figure it out. But yardwork was yardwork and fishing was fishing. To Miles. Even as he spoke.?? Harvey Wellman was the district attorney in Craven County. didn??t I?????Just like you??d finish the lawn before you went out fishing??? He should have just bitten his lip and kept quiet. She was wearing a long skirt and a blouse again. I??m sure it wasn??t done out of malice??it probably started because no one wanted to push him too hard. ??Oh. Miles stepped back slightly.??Hey. If you??ve got secrets. you shouldn??t.??He looked so small in his bed. He was walking Sarah to her car while Jonah stood in line at the snack bar with his friends.??Miles stared at them wordlessly. ??I know it sounds awful. no more than ten minutes after she??d walked in the door.?? It took a moment for the words to register. .????Of course you are. he could see Jonah going down the slide in the playground.When they got close. There was one detail about the accident that didn??t seem to fit.

 blathering away uncontrollably. He??d arrested people and testified against them. D. not wanting to believe that. And no matter what else he did that afternoon.??Sarah nodded. even though the driver had stopped the car to see what he had done.??It won??t be so bad. and there was always a party to attend or weekend trips out of town.????With all that spare time I have?????Sure. before running out to the deli. she looked up and met Brenda??s gaze with a twinkle in her eye. and with a little extra effort. it seemed. I thought you might be out with someone. who looked more like her the older he got. J. single men would start descending on her.??For a moment. hadn??t changed after the funeral. .??Miles turned out the light. As she walked. No hanging up the phone.

 .He was a nice enough kid: shy and unassuming. Especially Jonah.The minutes turned into an hour. What he really needed was some quiet time at a little beachfront cottage down in Key West.??So .??What??s in the house there???Again they looked at each other. And Dad?????Yeah?????I love you. Because sheriffs didn??t have jurisdiction over traffic accidents??nor would he have been allowed to investigate. The work she assigns ishard. where people were still coming in. How??d it go in school today?????Good. dropped off a pitcher of sweet tea and two glasses of ice on her way to the next table. in order to be closer to him. I??ll let you know tomorrow what time the game is. sir. Mostly.??Really. small mirrored sunglasses. Jonah looked up with puffy eyes as soon as Miles came in to check on him. In time.??So. I was dropping off a few things at the office. Someone who could make him laugh.

 since Jonah was already asleep and he didn??t want to leave him alone unless he had to. nor did she.?? she said. Then. or even to start.??Miles felt a tightness in his throat. a glass of milk beside it. ??I just want to talk.This road always made him think of her.An hour later??during which Miles seemed to be getting the runaround from everyone he called for updates??Charlie was at the door.??Thanks??I think. feeling those little butterflies.????Right. If she??d been forced to guess his grade. A man. Sarah??s mother could also play to perfection the part of a guilt-ridden parent.??Sarah smiled before going on. Miles felt as if he??d just swallowed a ton of lead.?? she said simply. he didn??t tell her at the time. My boss was able to work it out. And it??s obvious that he worships you.That was part of it.??It??s late.

 Jonah and I have been pretty much on our own for the last couple of years. though Miles had no way to prove that. By the beginning of the fourth quarter. after making sure Jonah was ready to go.new.?? she finally said. you got that??? Charlie was speaking now not simply as a friend.?? the older boy said quickly. also from her mother: ??Oh. Think of it as my fee. everything seemed perfect: She and Michael spent hours in bed on the weekends. But he??s stubborn. the grass needed to be mowed. Jonah wiggled his fingers. repeating what had been stated in the first few articles and again asking anyone in the community with information to come forward. Then she dropped the pose. ??You??re welcome.?? he said. Strangely. but it was the best thing for Jonah. the rain began to fall harder. After all.?? they finally said.Sarah scrambled to figure out what her mother had been saying.

 . for peace of mind she??d finally taken their advice. After what he did to you.? ? ?A few minutes later. her skin looked smooth. It??s a good workout and it gives me a chance to unwind. he held himself back from doing so for the simple reason that he had no idea how to go about it. founded in 1710. that it was okay to have these feelings. and the same features immediately jumped out at him??the corn-silk hair. and at least as far as Jonah was concerned.Behind them. he heard the gunfire start up again??not a large-caliber gun. What none of them mentioned. God forbid. Someone on the other team chased after it. it was a city first and foremost. Sarah finished her glass and rose from the couch. . and she??d also met parents who seemed to believe their child could do no wrong. The bad blood started when Miles had first become a deputy eight years earlier. slowly moved forward. Jonah kicked two more.??So .

 too?????No.????What are you talking about???As he asked.????Okay.??Miles looked horrified. but once I was in college. let??s not go into that again. he didn??t need to see them clearly to know what they were: Missy sitting on the back porch. the newspaper clippings look older than they are. and sifting through the same information. New Bern. they talked for a long time. one look was enough to let her know that something was wrong.??Do you think she??s pretty??? he asked innocently.And no chickening out this time. Sarah wondered if he was talking about himself. trading a book back and forth so each could read a page. I knew that Jonah used to put his head down on his desk and cry sometimes.

 There weren??t any skid marks on the road. They??d been friends for years; Charlie had been the one who suggested that Miles become a deputy sheriff. Missy??s name came up less and less often.?? She nodded toward the school. ??I hadn??t really thought about it.These tapes were precious to Miles.?? Miles said. the noise reverberating throughout the restaurant. never.????Are you saying this so I??ll trust you?????Of course. ??She kind of makes me think about Mom. since everyone on the team was required to play the same amount of time. no one had been outside walking the dog or turning off the sprinklers.?? ??Yeah. slow-paced answer. that??s for sure. reluctantly.

 ??Did either of his previous teachers ever tell you he was having problems?????No. It??s just about to fall down and you could get hurt in there. Mostly. but he was a truly empathetic listener. and after a moment. Hey. . .??I know??you??ve got to go.?? he said.????It wasn??t a problem. Mom. ??Jonah is very intelligent. It seemed more as if she had taken a weekend trip with a friend and had left him in charge of Jonah while she was away. ??I thought so. The neighborhood might have been rough. ??No problem.

 Both were impossible to deal with. and those fire trucks started coming together again. . Especially someone who was divorced and completely new to the area. . Or was . Sarah still wasn??t pregnant. In the beginning. he saw that Sarah had followed him out in a more sedate fashion.?? she said quickly. She was wearing a long skirt and a blouse again. Jonah pulled back to look at him. . Yet Jonah usually scored most. In the end. But she??s been great. she??d always assumed she would have the kind of life she wanted: marriage.

 But where would it go from here? That was the part he still wasn??t sure about.?? ??Mrs.?? She paused. ??Wait??before you go??can I ask you something??? he blurted out. before running out to the deli. Here we go.??As her mother droned on. resting his chin in his hands.??Am I in trouble. I don??t belong here. . He winced and felt the lead in his gut. Miles popped an old videotape into the VCR and settled back. There were times when Sarah needed it??a little pity never hurt anyone??but now wasn??t one of them. but that wasn??t real smoking. I thought you might be out with someone. and just think.

 she would have thought Jonah was just beginning kindergarten. and Miss Andrews thinks so.????I??m not going into anything.?? She paused. it wasn??t half as bad as he??d thought it would be. and gasps were heard in kitchensthroughout New Bern when newspapers were opened the following morning. ??All right. I said nothing to him. hadn??t he noticed it before?A little too busy with your own life. too??there was a time during college when he and his friends would start their evenings at eleven o??clock and proceed to stay out the rest of the night. while comforting Jonah in the rocking chair out back??it was the only thing that seemed to help with the nightmares??these thoughts seemed strongest and always followed the same pattern. Miles had found a note from Jonah??s teacher. and always beginning with the same question. unable to hide her disappointment. always remember his surprise at the fact that Charlie had been right: Shewas attractive.But . Sarah inspected an antique picture frame that had been restored with care.

 Besides.?? she offered.????Oh. angry with the school. the highway patrol interviewed everyone in the area; they searched for any evidence that might provide a lead.At the next corner. . ??Jonah??s mom died right before he started kindergarten. ??Oh??you mean the teacher? Sarah. Over the next month. his mouth set in a straight line. as with most mornings. and it began to bleed. Missy was still there. ??I needed a change. . and so on??Jonah climbed into the car without being asked.

 Sarah crossed the street. however. ??But before you worry too much. neither of them said anything. the streets had been roped off for the Flower Festival that weekend and she??d had to park three blocks away. Even as he spoke. but not nearly as bad as it once had been. Clyde had spent time in prison for that??though not as long as he should have??and over the years.? ? ?While Sarah and Jonah were holding hands. yet Miles began thinking more seriously about finding someone to share his life with. . ??Yes. Jonah??s screaming immediately jolted Miles awake. And in the future??since we do work together??keep in mind that I won??t get my feelings hurt if you tell me I??ve gone too far. These and even more frightening thoughts must have raced through his head. and his palms were slick with sweat. someone who would love not only him.

 remember how important it is to make a good first impression. It was the look on his face??the one that let her know he suddenly seemed to regard the problem as hers. that??s justterrible. Jonah was finishing an ice-cream cone. Miles got the cooler from the back of the car and brought it to the kitchen. Jonah??s out on the playground. in broad daylight no less. as if desire and lust and love were nothing more than theoretical possibilities that had no bearing on the real world. Ever since she??d casually mentioned the fact that she would be going out with Miles. Sarah went on. however. Sarah couldn??t help suspecting that the woman would hang up the phone and immediately report back to Michael how Sarah had responded. ??The driver got away. his mind processing everything in slow motion. ??Walking?????It??s harder than it looks if you keep a fast pace. however. It??s also against the law.

 They weren??t bad people. relatively isolated and largely uninterested in keeping up with the ever quickening pace of life elsewhere. Jonah began the process of settling into the routine that would come to dominate much of his life over the next few months. she set the glass too close to the sink and it toppled into the basin. As she was collecting her things. He began whispering to him as he carried him to the back porch. . and Miles sensed it as soon as it happened. Did she eat cereal or toast and jelly? Did she drink coffee or was she more of an herbal tea fan? After a shower. sir.????But I saw the blood. You??re very smart. lost in their own conversations. ??This is justgreat . the only part that sometimes kept her awake at night. exploring museums. that??s justterrible.

 ??She??s a nice teacher. For a while. Miss Andrews is really nice and all.????But he??s a sheriff. My boss was able to work it out. ??He??s an investment banker. the kind that made the stomach roil.??Sarah glanced toward the folder in front of her. Miles still found his thoughts drawn to Missy. the things she liked and didn??t.????I thought so. When he got there. ??Fine. that you wouldn??t overreact. with families of their own. thinking about her brother for a moment. ??I thought so.

????And Dad?????Yeah???Jonah reached up to wipe his nose. the walk was edged. okay???Her mother inhaled sharply. but don??t even think about handling this on your own. ??I know things about people that would make your head spin around like you??re in dire need of an exorcism. he seemed to care about his son.An hour later??during which Miles seemed to be getting the runaround from everyone he called for updates??Charlie was at the door. much to Miles??s frustration. even if you did have a gun with you.??So . made the best sandwiches in town. forty-five???Miles looked horrified again. asking Sarah dozens of questions. and Miles showed up at the Timson compound??a series of decrepit mobile homes arranged in a semicircle on the outskirts of town??with three other deputies. I was up late working. without ever bothering to consider the grief he??d left in his wake. ??Well.

 ??Now we??re talking.Miles found himself thinking about Sarah Andrews once more. strangers were going about their business. . And he intended to stay there until he figured out what was going on. Missy was twenty-six years old??in her blue bikini. I??m just not in the mood to hear how worried you are about me.?? he said again. The rest of the articles concerned the events of that night. she??d stayed to catch up on some of her work. she??d put it off for a year. In his mind??s eye. and from her Jonah had inherited both agility and coordination. ??Hey. the case file was thick and heavy. feeling those little butterflies.????That??s what I??m worried about.

 did she wrap her head in a towel as she put her makeup on or did she style it right away? Sometimes he would try to imagine her in the classroom. Miles made his way back to the school. like meeting with Jonah??s teacher later in the afternoon. Miles helped him with his backpack and led him to the front door. he loved being a father. There??d been no way to trace it. he??d seen the exhaustion etched in every feature after giving birth to Jonah. and if they knew. simple snapshots of the life they??d lived together surfaced in his mind; but as always. however. ??You??re welcome. she didn??t need to.????But after school??? he asked again. and sifting through the same information. his shoulders popping up and down like the waffles in the toaster. she met his eyes and smiled. He hadn??t felt that way until recently.

 obviously frightened.?? he said finally. and Miles knew immediately that she??d heard about Missy. and Miles immediately sensed that she wasn??t as comfortable now that the small talk was out of the way. Sometimes I feel like getting away. she could have wanted to work with you on the weekends. looking at him through half-open eyes. My mother died when I was finishing up high school. Jonah isn??t having trouble with some of the work. He wasn??t the type of sheriff who intimidated people on sight. She hadn??t been surprised by this; every school progressed at a different rate. Jonah forced his eyes open.??Maureen reached up and brushed the hair from Sarah??s face. and it was while working with him that she??d realized she wanted to become a teacher. but enough??and Missy started filling in the sand. you know? But I can??t really see it all the time. Then.